Are Relationship Issues Causing You Conflict Or Distance in Your Relationship?
Do you feel your relationship is lacking intimacy and trust? Has communication diminished and left you feeling constantly misunderstood or ignored? Perhaps your arguments are becoming more frequent and sometimes lead to huge blowouts. It might be that the challenges of raising a family, such as lack of partner support, setting healthy boundaries, or unrealistic expectations regarding the well-being of your children are adding stress to your relationship. Or maybe you have opposing financial goals or money problems that are causing tension, resentment, or fear for your economic future together.
Are you so physically and emotionally disconnected from your partner that you feel like you’re living with a complete stranger? Perhaps you don’t feel as comfortable with your partner as you once did. Or maybe you’re trying to overcome a major breach of trust, such as infidelity or an emotional affair.
The emotional distress you’re experiencing may be causing you to feel sad, angry, or exhausted. You might be isolating yourself from others or even over-socializing in an attempt to avoid interactions with your partner. You may feel something is wrong with your relationship and don’t know what to do or how to fix it. You might even wonder if the relationship is worth saving.
Do you wish you knew how to improve your relationship so you and your partner could reconnect and feel happy again?
Every Relationship Has Its Ups And Downs
It’s normal for couples to experience conflict at some point in their journey through life together. However, if you feel that you and your partner have been growing apart and your relationship issues have escalated to the point of unhappiness, you may be in need of support.
There might be past traumatic experiences that have caused one of you to develop unhealthy emotional patterns that could be affecting how you resolve or react to conflict. You may have experienced abuse or neglect as a child, and this has caused you to be distrusting or overly sensitive with your partner. Or maybe you fear that confronting relational issues is going to reveal situations or emotions that could make things worse. You don’t want to risk losing your partner, family, or mutual friends, but you feel stuck and alone.
Some couples grow apart because their values, beliefs, interests, or career goals have changed. These incompatibilities may have led to a loss of love, intimacy issues, or perhaps infidelity causing even more turmoil in the relationship.
Losing closeness and intimacy with your partner can create an environment that’s not healthy for anyone. You may have sought help in the past, but after not seeing much improvement, you’ve lost hope for any change in your life or your relationship. It’s challenging to work through conflicts in a skilled way on your own. However, with the right couples therapist, there can still be hope for your relationship.
Couples Counseling Can Help You Rebuild Your Relationship
Not being able to express yourself or your needs without arguing could be signs that something is off in your relationship. However, many times, issues with your partner go beyond simple communication problems. Couples therapy offers you a safe and unbiased space where both partners can be heard and understood. A trained couples counselor can help you navigate the roller coaster of emotions you’re going through to kickstart the healing process of rebuilding your relationship and reconnecting with your partner.
During your first session my goal will be to get to know you and your partner as individuals and as a couple. This is important for not only building a strong and trusting therapeutic relationship, but for facilitating an environment where you each can communicate your needs in non-threatening ways. If your partner does not want to attend sessions initially, you can still benefit from individual counseling until they’re ready to join. You can encourage them to attend by reassuring them that couples counseling is not about blaming or finger-pointing, but about learning to replace negative patterns to address your issues.
Our goal during therapy will be to provide you with a deeper awareness of your partner and the skills you need to be more supportive, attentive, and capable of growing as a couple and as individuals. I’m a level 2 trained PACT therapist (Psychological Approach to Couples Therapy), and my couple’s therapy model centers on this approach. This form of therapy will allow you and your partner to practice, in real-time, various solutions to your challenges, such as communicating effectively, rebuilding trust, or navigating issues with intimacy.
Specifically, it allows couples to look at what’s happening in their brain and navigate emotions when they’re experiencing conflict. This is going help you and your partner to slow down and see what’s happening with your mind and body. PACT couples therapy can help you understand your emotions to gain awareness of each other’s pain and sadness so that we can develop lasting solutions to manage and resolve conflict. I’ll help you navigate through your feelings so that you can learn to be in harmony with stronger emotions, how you’re reacting to stressors, and what you can do to find relief before the stress results in an argument.
During my therapy sessions, you can expect expert advice from a PACT specialist who can help you manage and resolve conflicts in a healthier way so that you can restore love and trust in your relationship. PACT sessions may go longer than 50 minutes to allow for in-depth work. My objective is to always provide a safe and comfortable space to help you get down to the real root of your struggles and to develop goals that will allow you to work on the relationship more effectively.
A commitment to making the relationship work is important for you and your personal growth. In my 20 years’ experience as a therapist, I’ve helped many couples rise above their struggles and create the life they really need and desire. I believe a fulfilling and loving relationship with your partner is possible.
You May Have Concerns About Working With A Couples Therapist…
I don’t know if couples counseling can help me.
An experienced couples counselor can help you resolve the sadness, fear, anger, and the frustration you’re going through so that you can improve your situation rather than spending so much energy worrying about it. Ignoring issues and hoping they go away takes an enormous amount of energy. With my help, you’ll have the support and skills needed to encourage positive emotional and behavioral changes that will help enhance your relationship with your partner.
What if my partner doesn’t want to go to sessions with me?
Talk to your partner about therapy in a positive, collaborative way by reassuring them that this is a means of support that can give you both the opportunity for healing and growth. Suggest that it can give them the skills to improve communication so you can learn to resolve conflicts in a healthier way. Ask them to attend a single session with you, or call for a 15-minute consultation to go over the process. And if they decide not to participate or continue therapy, respect their decision. You can still attend sessions by yourself, giving us the opportunity to identify what you’re struggling with within the relationship and how to overcome your challenges.
I don’t know if I have the time or the finances to attend therapy.
Couples counseling is a short-term investment of time and money that can benefit your mental well-being and the health of your family indefinitely. If you had an illness or physical injury, you wouldn’t have to justify making time for a doctor’s visit. Why not treat your relational and mental health to the same level of care and concern you would have for your body by seeking the help of a qualified couples therapist?
Create The Loving Relationship You Need To Live Your Best Life
If you and your partner are ready to heal your relationship, please contact me at (303) 475-4625 for a free 30-minute phone consultation or a brief in-person visit at my Boulder location.