Most people would probably say that infidelity in a relationship is wrong. However, it’s more common than you might think, whether you’re married or not.
Many factors can contribute to how common infidelity is, including age, whether a couple is married or not, and the duration of a relationship. But it can happen to anyone. One survey discovered that 20% of married men and 13% of married women have been unfaithful to their partners, and those statistics tend to get worse with younger generations.
Let’s look at how common infidelity is, why it happens, and what you can do to protect your relationship.
The Stats on Cheating
The United States tops the list of countries where cheating is most prevalent. It might not be surprising to learn that many adulterous relationships occur between co-workers. In fact, a 2023 survey found that 31% of affairs in the U.S. occur between people who work together.
Even though the United States might have more infidelity, Europe’s number is on the rise, mainly due to changing definitions of the word. According to a 2017 survey, over 18% of European men and over 14% of European women don’t consider intercourse to be a form of cheating.
Americans — specifically American women — tend to have a lower threshold when it comes to what they consider infidelity. Things like going out with other people, holding hands, and other intimate actions are often seen as cheating.
What Causes Infidelity?
There is no one concrete cause that triggers cheating in a relationship. However, some common potential causes can lead a person to stray.
Relationship dynamics often play a significant role in infidelity. If one partner feels unsatisfied or unhappy, physically or emotionally, they might look elsewhere for fulfillment. Communication problems and unresolved conflicts can also lead to either physical or emotional cheating.
Even if a relationship seems healthy and happy, infidelity can still happen. People with low self-esteem might be more likely to seek out someone else to give them a boost of confidence or validation. Others cheat because they want more variety and excitement.
Mental health issues, including attachment issues, can also trigger infidelity in relationships. These problems affect everything from communication to trust, often making it difficult to establish a close connection with a partner, which can lead them to stray.
Repairing Your Relationship
Understanding some common causes of infidelity can help you check in on your relationship. Unfortunately, it sometimes occurs “out of the blue,” but if you notice any warning signs, you must take proactive steps to bolster communication and foster emotional and physical intimacy.
If infidelity has already occurred in your relationship, you and your partner should be on the same page if you want to try to make things work.
The first step is acknowledging that it happened so you can move forward. Then, the affair needs to end immediately. Rebuilding trust will take time and require open and honest communication.
You should also work on addressing the underlying issues that caused the infidelity in the first place. That’s not an easy conversation to have. But it can help you learn about yourself, your partner, and your relationship. It’s also something you don’t have to go through alone.
Whether you’re trying to prevent cheating in your relationship or heal after it’s already happened, working with a mental health professional can help. Contact me today to set up an appointment for couples counseling, and together we’ll work to improve communication, trust, and intimacy within your relationship while addressing any potential underlying issues.
