Do you find it easy and natural to communicate with most family members? Maybe you recognize that your communication habits are unique because you’ve seen how other families talk to each other just a bit differently.
There is something exciting about family communication patterns and how they help to define dynamics and relationships within a familial unit. But many people don’t realize that those patterns can be different from family to family.
Family communication patterns help to shape the overall dynamic within your family. They impact everything from values and beliefs to important decisions.
With that in mind, let’s cover some of the most common family communication patterns so you can determine where your family leans and what it means.
Consensual Communication
Consensual communication within a family unit is both highly conversational and highly conformative.
Ideas are discussed freely, and people are encouraged to speak their minds, share opinions, and communicate without fear. However, there is an underlying expectation that all family members align with certain values and beliefs. Consensual communication focuses on shared values. So, while not everyone might agree on everything within the family, those underlying beliefs and values tend to set the tone for most communication efforts.
Pluralistic Communication
Like a consensual communication pattern, pluralistic families encourage open and honest communication. However, there are fewer underlying values and expectations to conform to.
Pluralistic families welcome a variety of viewpoints and opinions. People within the family unit can establish their beliefs and viewpoints and bring them up without worrying about being judged or criticized for going against the grain.
There is often very little pressure in families with a pluralistic communication pattern. Communication tends to flow freely, as do various ideas and opinions.
Protective Communication
Some families have specific expectations but struggle when it comes to open and honest communication. If you find that your family prioritizes things like obedience and has certain expectations that focus on conformity, you might fall into the protective communication pattern.
The issue with this pattern is that communication itself isn’t a huge priority. There are expectations to be met, and often a hierarchy of authority to pay attention to. However, most people within this pattern don’t express themselves freely to other family members. Conversation is low, and you might feel you can’t discuss any of your opinions or disagree with the “status quo.”
Laissez-Faire Communication
Families with a laissez-faire approach are low in conversation and low in conformity. These families are full of independent individuals with their own ideals, beliefs, and values. Family members pursue their own interests without much discussion with others. Open and honest communication is a low priority, but not because anyone is encouraging secrets. This type of pattern simply encourages autonomy more than others.
Recognizing Your Family Communication Pattern
Not all of these communication patterns are cut and dry. It’s possible to have the characteristics of more than one within your family. However, they’re designed to help you see how communication is expressed and prioritized within your family, so you can determine how that might affect you as an individual, and when it comes to other relationships in your life.
Obviously, some of these patterns are healthier than others. If you recognize that your family communication pattern isn’t beneficial or hasn’t helped you improve your own communication efforts, it’s never too late to make improvements.
Thankfully, you don’t have to take that journey alone. Feel free to contact me today to set up a consultation for family therapy. Together, we can dive deeper into your learned communication patterns and work on the things you would like to change as you move forward.
