There’s no question that psychotherapy changes lives. Surveys with those who are undergoing therapy show that half reported improvement in their lives after just six sessions and 75 percent improved after 12 sessions. There’s no magic to where that change comes from: it’s a combination of your therapist’s skill, knowledge, and experience and your own commitment, strength, and insight. It’s a wonderful dance that will take you to a better place through a series of steps:
A new attitude: The simple act of admitting that you have a problem and deciding to take action to improve your life makes a big difference in how you perceive yourself. This first step sets you ahead of the crowd. The National Institute of Mental Health estimates that some 44 million adults in this country would benefit from psychotherapy. Eventually 80 percent seek help as you are doing, but the majority wait — some as long as 20 years — to do so. The fact that you’re tackling your problems now deserves a pat on the back.
Hurting more, temporarily: Initially, you may feel that therapy is actually making your problems worse; don’t give up. Your therapist is prodding you to confront the very things that are causing you to be unhappy. As you let yourself be aware of those issues, it’s normal to feel overwhelmed temporarily, but the act of confrontation actually dissolves their power to upset you.
Learning about yourself: Psychotherapy isn’t a treatment that’s handed to you by a professional you are paying. Your therapist will bring his training and experience and insight to bear on your treatment, but you will be an active participant. Your own insight and experience will be an important part of the journey and as the two of you work together, you will come to learn much about yourself. Beyond your troubles, you will discover the source of your feelings and the strength you already possess to overcome what’s troubling you.
Gaining skills: Psychotherapy is an active healing process. Our bodies have the capability to heal most physical problems, but healing the complicated mechanisms of our thoughts and feelings requires more involvement on our part. Your therapist will have many techniques that you can learn and practice on your own. For instance, in cognitive-behavioral therapy, one of the most common treatment options, you will learn to recognize unhelpful thoughts and behaviors, to call a halt when they surface, and to replace them with more positive thoughts and behaviors.
Thinking differently: There is evidence that just the act of participating in psychotherapy can change the way your brain functions, amping up useful areas of brain function and discouraging those that don’t work for you. Again, this isn’t the result of a magic wand waved by your therapist; it reflects the effort you put into the process of changing. You will begin to think differently because you want to and because you work at it.
Living differently: Whether you have a chronic disorder like depression or obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) or are fighting your way through a difficult life experience (divorce, losing a loved one or a job), therapy will help you shift your reactions to what’s going on. When you’re at the bottom, it may seem impossible to get serious about daily exercise or eating a healthy diet or developing new friendships. Expect your therapist to encourage just such changes, because they are strong medicine for your problems. Staying physically healthy is also one way of preventing future emotional upset.
Taking it forward: The new skills and confidence you’re learning in therapy are portable. Long after your therapy ends you will be able to take on the new challenges life throws your way.
